Abandonment and Neglect

Many years ago, a Christian named Augustine wrote the following in his memoir, Confessions: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.” He was talking about our sense of ultimate identity and belonging, and all of us on some level can understand the yearning to belong somewhere, to have a home. As human beings, all of us are hardwired with a desire to belong to a people and a place. We long for the experience of loving others, being loved, and knowing that we are loved. When that desire is not met, our hearts ache from a sense of loss. That desire for deep and meaningful human connection makes sense when you consider that the God in whose image we were created, is relational. As difficult as our relationships can be, when they work well, they bring us a lot of joy. The reality we live in here and now, however, is one where our relationships are imperfect, and we do not always get the care and connection we need from others. Some families have an unhealthy dynamic in them where the children are made to feel that their parent(s) do not value them and could leave them at any moment. This can potentially lead to abandonment and neglect issues. While most issues of abandonment and neglect originate in childhood experiences, they can also develop as an adult. You may have experienced abandonment and neglect, whether as an adult or as a child – whether you were left alone for extended periods and left uncared for as a child (a latchkey kid), or didn’t receive the care and support you needed from your spouse. It is a sad fact that people can still face issues of abandonment [...]