Kate Motaung

We were made for friendships. For women, female friendships are particularly important. God knit us together to need one another. The author of Ecclesiastes understood this when he wrote: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV Jesus called twelve men to walk with Him through His ministry. Peter, John, and James are often called His “inner circle,” men He relied on more than the others. Jesus understood the power and value of friendship. It can be harder to make real friends as we get older. We are connected as never before thanks to social media, and yet, studies have shown we have never felt more isolated and alone. God did not make us for 280-character interactions. Female friendships were never supposed to happen via likes and heart emojis. We were made for connection - coffee dates, phone calls, and sitting with each other. We try to force being busy or scrolling to fill a void only real friendship can. 3 Ideas for Cultivating Female Friendships How do we make female friendships as we get older? Here are three ideas. 1. Make the first move. We are all lonely. We want more friends. We want to talk about more than surface things. We need the chance to be real with someone. But let’s be honest, being the one to “go first” is hard. The fact that the women around us are just as taxed and in need of a real conversation as us should disarm our fears. Simply ask someone if they want to get coffee, come over for a playdate, or sit together at your children’s basketball game. Then be intentional and ask real questions. Maybe come up with some questions beforehand. If you are at an [...]

We don’t have to search far to gather points on friendship advice. Opinions plaster the internet, dishing culture’s input on entering or exiting relationships, though it may not be the wisest counsel. “Ten steps to handle this” or “three strategies to conquer that” can be both insightful and entertaining. Closer to home, well-meaning loved ones offer unsolicited commentary. A flood of incorrect, insufficient, or inappropriately matched information can overwhelm us, leaving us frustrated with how to navigate the matters of our hearts. Fading friendships Friends are a source of strength, sharpening, and support in the evolving seasons of our lives. They are a haven for fun, memory-making, and stability in our lowest moments. As representatives of God’s goodness and care, they love us by choice, not compulsion or convenience, as it can be with family. When our friendships fade, due to distance, changing interests, overcoming offense, or other circumstances, we are aware of the shift. For various reasons, we may not feel as close or connected. Sometimes, trying to revive a friendship after an offense or a deep infraction doesn’t result in recovery. In other situations, we lose investment in the shared interests that initially drew us. We may be unable to coordinate time or unwilling to sacrifice it. Although we may not always know why, it becomes apparent that we no longer fit in with our friends. As sons and daughters of an intelligent God, we want to understand what seems illogical. Pause to pray about friendship When we sense change on the horizon, it may feel as if our hearts are suspended in between seasons. Yesterday no longer fits. Tomorrow seems frighteningly different from our current version of normal. In the midst, we crave immediate answers and clear direction for the ambiguous path ahead. Yet, the discomfort [...]