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You are Not Your Past: Overcoming Adverse Childhood Experiences

You are Not Your Past: Overcoming Adverse Childhood Experiences

Cyndi Kay Green2024-09-30T12:50:31+00:00April 29th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Trauma|

Many adults have experienced childhood trauma that can affect them mentally or emotionally for the rest of their lives. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) account for a big part of the mental health issues that adults face today. These ACEs typically occur when the child’s brain is developing at a high rate which causes them to be harmful and affects how the child learns. This can also affect the way a child responds to stress as they grow into adulthood. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10, ESV What are the most common adverse childhood experiences? Most adverse childhood experiences are traumatic and often experienced before the child reaches the age of eighteen. These events can have lasting negative effects on every aspect of the child’s health. The most common adverse childhood experiences are: Divorce/separation of parents Verbal humiliation Loss of a loved one to suicide Physical/emotional abuse Incarcerated parent Death of a parent Household of alcohol/substance abuse Abandonment or neglect Mentally ill parent Risk factors Most ACEs are not a product of happenstance. They are typically not random events. Economic status, community, culture, and family history play a big part in the likelihood of a child experiencing adverse events. Some of these risk factors include the income and education level of the family. The ability of the family members to understand and react to stress related to the home can have an adverse reaction to traumatic events. When these events affect the mind of the child it can cause the child to become predisposed to other health issues as an adult, such as cancer, depression, heart disease, and other chronic illnesses. When there are no community resources available to help the child [...]

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The Benefits of Effective Listening for Relationships

The Benefits of Effective Listening for Relationships

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-30T12:59:20+00:00March 18th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issuse|

One of the many gifts that comes from being in a relationship with others is being known, understood, and loved. Our world is a big wide place, and it’s easy to feel like just another statistic, a faceless part of the crowd, another worker in the organization, or just another neighbor or citizen. In our closest relationships, our individuality is seen and appreciated, and that makes all the difference in the world. As our closest relationships are precious, it matters that they become spaces where we truly do hear others and are heard. That is why being a good listener is one of the best gifts you can ever give someone. Who doesn’t appreciate the fact that someone has truly heard them and understands their concerns? However, being a good listener is easier said than done, as we have many unhelpful habits that get in the way of effective listening. Understanding effective listening What exactly is effective listening? At its core, effective listening leaves the other person feeling like they’ve been heard, that their concerns and questions were understood, and that they’ve had an opportunity to express themselves as they intended. That’s a lot to accomplish through listening, but it is possible. When we engage in communication, whether in expressing ourselves to others or in receiving their words toward us, a lot is going on in that interaction. When you speak, you do so through your communication style, which is a combination of the words you tend to use, your tone of voice, how much eye contact you give, and the gestures you tend to employ. That communication style can be aggressive, assertive, passive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. When it comes to listening, a lot is going on there, too. Your body posture, whether you are maintaining eye contact, whether [...]

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Dealing with Death Anxiety

Dealing with Death Anxiety

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-30T12:59:11+00:00February 28th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Death anxiety is a common fear experienced by up to 10% of people, according to research. It is also known as “thanatophobia” and refers to intense concerns regarding one’s own death, the process of dying, someone else dying, or what happens after death. For Christians, who believe in eternal life, there can be an element of shame in admitting death anxiety. After all, if we are so convinced that our life here is temporary, and that what awaits once Jesus returns is infinitely better than this life, then why would we suffer death anxiety? Christian counseling can help individuals process their fear, getting to an understanding of what exact part of death is causing worry. It is also an opportunity to meditate on Scripture and walk a journey of growing faith together with someone who can provide perspective and pray through the problem together. Symptoms of death anxiety A certain degree of fear about death or dying is normal. It can be a frightening prospect filled with uncertainty, and the possibility of pain, along with trauma and grief for those left behind. Ecclesiastes 3:11 states that “God has set eternity in the human heart”, which means that, in every human soul there is a God-given awareness that there is something more than this transient life and that we know intrinsically that this world is not our forever home. Death anxiety, however, goes beyond this to the point where it prevents a person from enjoying life. While it is not a psychiatric diagnosis, someone with the phobia will feel extremely distressed about death and dying. The symptoms that might show up beyond an expression of this fear include going to great lengths to minimize the risk of dying (not leaving the house, refusing mechanical modes of transport, etc.), avoiding places [...]

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Building Self-Esteem in a Social Media World

Building Self-Esteem in a Social Media World

Melissa Plantz2024-09-30T12:50:14+00:00February 1st, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

There is a link between self-esteem and social media. Studies have shown that rates of depression and suicidal thoughts have increased over the last several years, especially in teenagers. The teen years are a time when a child’s self-esteem is growing, and social media influences can destroy what confidence they have gained. However, building self-esteem is important not only during adolescence but also throughout adulthood. For example, a woman who has recently given birth may find herself comparing her body to the fitness models and influencers on social media, leading her to feel depressed. Men who struggle to balance family and work may see the highlights of their friends and become resentful, jealous, angry, or depressed. But not all is lost. You can still manage a social media presence without sacrificing your self-esteem. Building self-esteem: How to protect your progress Building self-esteem and protecting your progress is imperative to maintaining mental health. Social media is a tool. However, most people spend so much time scrolling through and admiring the highlights of others’ lives that it becomes easy to spiral downward. The following are tips for building and protecting your self-esteem while staying up to date on your socials. Limit social media time. You do not have to avoid social media entirely. Check your settings on your phone or in the app and note how much time you average on the platform daily, weekly, and monthly. Next, aim to limit your social media time. Maybe save your social media scrolling and notifications while you wait for dinner to finish cooking. Assign a specific time to return messages; do not feel obligated to answer people immediately. Limit your accessibility for peace of mind. Know why you want a social media account. What is the reason you want a social media account? [...]

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Goal Setting: 8 Reasons Why Goals are Important

Goal Setting: 8 Reasons Why Goals are Important

Joanna Kucherera2024-09-30T12:49:29+00:00January 2nd, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Most of us have dreams. We all look at life and have a picture of what we want our future to be. These dreams and wishes can only become a reality when we put in the effort that’s needed to achieve them. This is where goal setting comes into play. Goals are defined as dreams with a deadline and a plan. It is how we choose to live and prioritize our time and resources toward those things we want to achieve and be. There are different types of goals a person can have for themselves. The reason for that is as our lives become more complex, we now need to be intentional about how we allocate time toward different aspects of our lives. Below are some types of goals people can have: Social goals. Personal goals. Financial goals. Health and wellness goals. Professional goals. Academic goals. Spiritual goals. Personal development goals. Though they might not all be at the same level of priority, all these goals are important for a person’s wellness and functioning. Goal setting is important because it can help make all these aims attainable and not overwhelming. Why is goal setting important? Getting into the habit of setting goals is important for many reasons. Below are some to consider. Bringing a sense of control. Goal setting brings everything into focus. You feel empowered and in control as you plan and develop systems that can help you achieve your goals. You are not leaving everything to the universe but working as much as you can for the future you want. Encouraging discipline. When you have goals, you become more disciplined in your life choices and in how you distribute resources. You can prioritize your behavior and channel your energy where it is needed. Having timelines and deadlines [...]

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Light for Your Path: Bible Verses About Hope

Light for Your Path: Bible Verses About Hope

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-30T12:59:04+00:00December 21st, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Some say that the past is the best predictor of future behavior. While that can be true in some instances, those of us who are in Christ have a new nature. It is out of this true identity, knowing who we are and to Whom we belong, that we can experience enduring transformation and hope (2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 12:1-2). Consider the following Bible verses about hope to find some encouragement. Bible verses about hope The changes we encounter in our relationship with Jesus are informed by the Word, the ultimate Authority, which has the power to shift what is seen and unseen, in this present world and the one to come (John 1:1). That can be a source of encouragement and hope to light an otherwise obscure path, comforted in that we do not have to remain the same, locked into old behaviors, beliefs, and ways of being (Psalm 119:89, 105). We can find hope and continue growing into who God desires us to be. With Scripture, we can draw inspiration and encouragement for navigating challenging times with Bible verses about hope. The words of the prophet Jeremiah urge us to delight in God’s steadfastness with each sunset and sunrise (Lamentations 3:21-26). Our Father is faithful, providing us with new mercies to envelop us amid every threat. Between the poles of each day, the Psalmist reminds us that the praise of the Lord will sustain us in and through all we endure (Psalm 113:3). These verses are the beacons that point to hope so that we can emerge from our past, abide in our present, and advance into our future with God. While we all endure troublesome circumstances just as Jesus forewarned, the hope the Bible comforts with is not limited to the change of temporal conditions (John [...]

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Tips for Dealing With a Breakup

Tips for Dealing With a Breakup

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-30T12:58:56+00:00November 24th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issuse, Women’s Issues|

Life isn’t always neat, and things don’t always go as we’d hoped. Sometimes you get closure; a clean break that allows you to heal and move on with your life. But at other times the ending is so abrupt or unexpected that it leaves you blindsided and bewildered. Dealing with a breakup is one of those times. When a breakup happens, you may or may not have been prepared for it. Even if you’re the one who initiated it, you may find yourself questioning your decision or being tempted to send a conciliatory message. Relationships are like wild things, not quite in our control. Our emotions are deeply implicated in the connections we make with other people, and it’s hard to rein those in and sometimes to even make sense of them. What a breakup means. It can be difficult to sift through what a breakup means and what it does not. It’s important to know the difference and to stand firm on what is true while rejecting what is false. Our hearts don’t always accept what is objectively true; they often yield to what feels true, even if it’s patently untrue. When you go through a breakup, reminding yourself of what is true of you and even of the other person can help you maintain perspective as you process what’s happened. What follows may apply to both parties in a breakup, but in some instances, it may apply more to the person who initiated it, or to the person who feels they’ve been broken up with. In either case, one has to do the work of debriefing and grieving the relationship. The breakdown of a relationship should cause you to reflect and consider what happened and how you got where you are. Painful experiences can spur us onto [...]

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Understanding Emotional Neglect

Understanding Emotional Neglect

Joanna Kucherera2024-09-30T12:50:00+00:00October 31st, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issuse|

When a child first enters the world, their early interactions with the people taking care of them are important. These interactions serve to communicate that they are loved, cherished, and valued. This for a child brings a sense of belonging and security. Their developmental abilities depend on these first interactions. Emotional neglect hinders these processes. However, if a child is met with a cold, unloving, and unresponsive world, their well-being is put at risk. Emotional neglect is one such situation. When we say a child is suffering from emotional neglect, we mean that the relationship they have with their parent or caregiver is such that their emotional needs are neglected, ignored, and sometimes invalidated. Emotional neglect can happen intentionally and unintentionally, nonetheless, the effects can be both devastating and lifelong if not attended to. Even though we are talking about a parent-to-child relationship, it is important to note that emotional neglect can also be experienced in other relationships, like friendships and romantic relationships. Caregivers or those we are in relationships with can cause us to feel emotionally neglected for several reasons. No matter what the underlying causes are, people or caregivers who exhibit the following behaviors run the risk of making their loved ones feel emotionally neglected: They are dismissive of emotions, sometimes ridiculing or minimizing the other person’s feelings. They are cold and unwelcoming. It is hard to enjoy spontaneous play or interactions with them. They sometimes give silent treatment, not talking or interacting with their loved one. This breaks down any hope for connection. They are not interested in the other’s life, activities, hobbies, or interests. When they do speak, it’s rare to give praise or acknowledgment. They find fault easily and focus on those faults more than anything else the other person does. They may suffer [...]

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5 Bible Truths For a Positive Body Image

5 Bible Truths For a Positive Body Image

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:16:09+00:00October 25th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

In this article, we will look at five biblical truths to remember as we try to move to a more positive body image. 5 Biblical Truths for a More Positive Body Image 1. We are made in the image of God. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. – Genesis 1:27, NIV This is a spectacular truth, so try to let it sink into your heart. Pause for a moment and reflect. The amazing God of all creation has made you in His image. Not just your heart, soul, and mind, but in some way your body too. There could not be a stronger reason to have a positive body image than that. 2. Everything God has made is good. The second truth to hold on to is that God Himself considers all his creation good, including the bodies He made for us: God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. – Genesis 1:31, NIV Even after the Fall, and the brokenness of the world and our bodies that followed, Scripture doesn’t ever revoke the fact that we are made in God’s image (though this image may be tarnished) nor the fact that creation is good. 3. God’s opinion is the one that should matter most. The third truth is to choose carefully who you listen to. The Bible warns against “the fear of man” which is to let other people’s opinions have a controlling influence in our lives. God is the One we should be listening to. If He says our bodies are good, then don’t let other people convince you otherwise. Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. – Proverbs 29:25, NIV 4. God will ultimately [...]

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Can You Recognize Effective Coaching?

Can You Recognize Effective Coaching?

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:16:18+00:00August 25th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You have heard of the idea of getting coaching for various challenges that have come up in the workplace, but how will you know the difference between effective coaching and the opposite? In this short article, we look at three tangible outcomes that may accompany effective coaching. On a personal level, the opportunity to benefit from coaching will promote an individual’s personal growth and improvement over time through self-development. From a company-wide perspective, there are several ways to structure as well as measure effective coaching. A short list of these may include promotion, performance, better coordination inside and outside teams, and higher retention rates. These are useful to measure effective coaching once the program has ended, but how can you evaluate the program while it is still in progress, and how are improvements seen in the working week? Effective coaching outcomes and indicators Better personal performance. A high-performing employee can see the broader picture, and so more easily collaborates with other team members and with those of different skill sets. The development time required for such a person is shortened through focused coaching in areas such as project planning, strategic thinking, or influencing others. To effectively examine and improve these areas the coach needs to be able to communicate their technical expertise of personality factors that influence these competencies, such as emotional intelligence, imposter syndrome, and ego. Those receiving coaching come to understand what areas they need to work on, and then how to do this while staying true to themselves so that the personal growth continues after the coaching sessions are ended. Improving team coordination and outcomes. When a leader is coached, it is not only their performance that will improve, but their team will also benefit from higher outputs. Effective coaching will facilitate a high-performing leader’s desire [...]

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