Men’s Issues Archives - Christian Counseling Pasadena

Tips for Dealing With a Breakup

Tips for Dealing With a Breakup

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-30T12:58:56+00:00November 24th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issuse, Women’s Issues|

Life isn’t always neat, and things don’t always go as we’d hoped. Sometimes you get closure; a clean break that allows you to heal and move on with your life. But at other times the ending is so abrupt or unexpected that it leaves you blindsided and bewildered. Dealing with a breakup is one of those times. When a breakup happens, you may or may not have been prepared for it. Even if you’re the one who initiated it, you may find yourself questioning your decision or being tempted to send a conciliatory message. Relationships are like wild things, not quite in our control. Our emotions are deeply implicated in the connections we make with other people, and it’s hard to rein those in and sometimes to even make sense of them. What a breakup means. It can be difficult to sift through what a breakup means and what it does not. It’s important to know the difference and to stand firm on what is true while rejecting what is false. Our hearts don’t always accept what is objectively true; they often yield to what feels true, even if it’s patently untrue. When you go through a breakup, reminding yourself of what is true of you and even of the other person can help you maintain perspective as you process what’s happened. What follows may apply to both parties in a breakup, but in some instances, it may apply more to the person who initiated it, or to the person who feels they’ve been broken up with. In either case, one has to do the work of debriefing and grieving the relationship. The breakdown of a relationship should cause you to reflect and consider what happened and how you got where you are. Painful experiences can spur us onto [...]

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Help for Pornography Addiction

Help for Pornography Addiction

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:19:24+00:00February 25th, 2021|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Addiction|

Pornography is one of those things that most of us will agree on what it is when we see it. Whether it is pictures on your phone, videos on your tablet, or magazines, pornography is designed to titillate and stir sexual desires through nudity or the portrayal of people having sex. And pornography is everywhere. The ubiquity of porn comes through its ease of accessibility, affordability, and anonymity. You can find porn on the internet at the click of a button on a mobile device in your pocket, and you can do so without people knowing you’re accessing it, all for free. This makes getting porn and pornographic material the easiest it’s been in human history. Not only is easy access available, but there is just so much of it out there for consumption, and people are actively looking for it. According to some statistics for the United States, thirty-seven porn videos are created every day, 2.5 billion emails containing porn are sent or received daily, a quarter of all search queries generated are related to porn, and over 100,000 queries related to child pornography are received. While it might be tempting to think that porn usage and addiction is an isolated occurrence, it affects 5-8% of the adult population. About 200,000 Americans are classified as porn addicts. Viewing porn isn’t by any means an exclusively male preserve - about a third of porn viewers are women. The Church isn’t exempt from these realities, either. According to some statistics, 1 in 5 youth pastors and 1 in 7 senior pastors regularly use pornography – that’s around 50,000 church leaders. Over half of Christian men and around 15% of Christian women say they watch porn at least once a month. Clearly, as human beings, we have collectively taken the remarkable [...]

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Dating Advice for Men: 5 Practical Tips

Dating Advice for Men: 5 Practical Tips

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:37:12+00:00October 20th, 2020|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issuse|

Relationships between people can be the most complex, enriching, life-giving, and challenging thing in the world. Human beings are themselves complex, coming from and living out different values, worldviews, and personalities. When you mix in the romantic element to relationships, that adds another layer to things. This article offers practical dating advice for men who are seeking to build a relationship with a potential spouse. Dating in the 21st century is a quite different animal than it was a century or even a decade ago. So much has shifted in our culture, both inside and outside the church. As we’re not all reading the same manuals or books on dating, people enter the dating scene on vastly different pages – from expectations to fears, there are many assumptions we can carry into any given scenario. These can hinder or help us on the dating journey, making it especially important to get practical, versatile, and meaningful dating advice for men. Where to begin? Sometimes, romantic relationships are reified and treated as though they were no different than other relationships. Sure, romance and sexual chemistry bring new and often exciting dimensions to any relationship, but at heart, it’s still a relationship between two human beings. The basics that apply in other relationships apply here as well. Each situation will be unique, so there’s no way a single article can cover every eventuality. Consider what follows as very broad guidelines that are aimed at shaping the type of person you are when you date, and not necessarily what you should do in any circumstances you may encounter while dating. As such, there is probably no better place to begin than with the command to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This “Golden Rule” from Jesus is a relational touchstone that challenges us in [...]

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Getting Help through Individual Christian Counseling Services

Getting Help through Individual Christian Counseling Services

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:21:08+00:00June 22nd, 2020|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Life east of Eden can be tough. We do not live in an idyllic world, in which our bodies, minds, emotions, relationships, and environment are only healthy and supportive of our growth. As much as we would like to be in control of everything that happens to us, life can get overwhelming. Despite best efforts, we don’t always have it together, and we can struggle to muster up the resources to handle things on our own. Sometimes life just doesn’t go according to plan. The bottom falls out for a variety of reasons, and we need a sympathetic and compassionate ear with whom to talk things through. We all need a place to get real answers that get straight to the heart of the matter so that we can live a life full of meaning and joy. Some people think that Christian counseling services are only for others. Unfortunately, there are unhelpful narratives out there about therapy that may make people assume it is not for them, and so they do not avail themselves of this helpful resource. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Christian counseling services are a valuable resource for everyone, and helpful for addressing a wide range of issues regardless of your vocation, gender, race, age, or social class. You could benefit from Christian counseling services whether you’re dealing with: depression anxiety eating disorders panic attacks struggles with your faith journey anger issues loneliness low self-esteem relationships issues post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) past trauma and hurts sexual abuse overcoming addictive or harmful behaviors . . . or other concerns. If you are struggling, there is no need to go it alone. Help is available to you in the form of individual Christian counseling services. What is Individual Christian Counseling? The most common picture people have [...]

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