Tips for Dealing With a Breakup
Life isn’t always neat, and things don’t always go as we’d hoped. Sometimes you get closure; a clean break that allows you to heal and move on with your life. But at other times the ending is so abrupt or unexpected that it leaves you blindsided and bewildered. Dealing with a breakup is one of those times. When a breakup happens, you may or may not have been prepared for it. Even if you’re the one who initiated it, you may find yourself questioning your decision or being tempted to send a conciliatory message. Relationships are like wild things, not quite in our control. Our emotions are deeply implicated in the connections we make with other people, and it’s hard to rein those in and sometimes to even make sense of them. What a breakup means. It can be difficult to sift through what a breakup means and what it does not. It’s important to know the difference and to stand firm on what is true while rejecting what is false. Our hearts don’t always accept what is objectively true; they often yield to what feels true, even if it’s patently untrue. When you go through a breakup, reminding yourself of what is true of you and even of the other person can help you maintain perspective as you process what’s happened. What follows may apply to both parties in a breakup, but in some instances, it may apply more to the person who initiated it, or to the person who feels they’ve been broken up with. In either case, one has to do the work of debriefing and grieving the relationship. The breakdown of a relationship should cause you to reflect and consider what happened and how you got where you are. Painful experiences can spur us onto [...]