Having a baby is a major life change that can be both elating and exhausting, and can lead to a jumble of emotions following the birth of your little one. Postpartum blues refers to the temporary feelings of depression, weepiness, and fluctuating emotions felt by many women shortly after giving birth. According to The National Institute of Mental Health, it is experienced by up to 80 percent of new mothers.
The exact cause of postpartum blues isn’t fully understood, but symptoms are thought to be triggered by a combination of chemical changes in the brain resulting from the sudden drop in the body’s levels of estrogen and progesterone hormones immediately following childbirth, coupled with sleep deprivation, fatigue, and feeling overwhelmed by the added responsibility of caring for a newborn.
Symptoms of postpartum blues usually appear within the first few days after delivery, do not interfere with your ability to function or to take care of your infant, and disappear on their own within a couple of weeks once your hormones level out.
How is that different from postpartum depression?
Postpartum depression typically shows up from two weeks to three months after the baby’s birth. At first, the symptoms may seem similar to those of postpartum blues, but they are more intense, last longer, and left untreated, worsen over time, hindering your ability to care for yourself or your baby and leaving you feeling trapped by the responsibilities of motherhood.
Common symptoms of postpartum blues and depression.
Postpartum Blues
- Feeling overwhelmed.
- Unexplained waves of sadness.
- Frequent mood swings.
- Feeling happy one moment and weepy the next.
- Oversensitivity.
- Lots of tears.
- Fatigue.
- Feeling too exhausted to take care of yourself.
- Feeling less attractive.
- Irritability and grumpiness.
- Restlessness.
- Fear and anxiety.
- Trouble sleeping or eating properly.
- Feeling uncertain about your ability to take care of your new baby.
- Trouble concentrating or making decisions.
- Feeling you’ve lost control over your life.
- Having a base of happiness and contentment underneath the depressive symptoms.
- Feeling motivated by the joy of being a new mom.
- Symptoms last anywhere from a few days to two weeks and clear up on their own.
Postpartum Depression
- Feeling desperate, hopeless, and overwhelmed.
- Unshakeable sadness.
- Frequent mood swings, but no joy.
- Depression.
- Frequent crying spells.
- Overwhelming fatigue and lack of energy.
- Self-neglect.
- Anger, irritability, and restlessness
- Intense Anxiety, worry, and panic attacks.
- Paralyzing fear of something bad happening to your baby.
- Difficulty sleeping even when the baby is asleep.
- Changes in appetite leading to weight loss or weight gain.
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and shame.
- Persistent doubts about being able to care for your baby.
- Loss of motivation
- Feeling like a failure.
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy.
- Trouble focusing or making decisions.
- Withdrawing from friends and loved ones.
- Feeling detached from your baby and having no interest in caring for him or her.
- Difficulty bonding with your baby.
- Inability to enjoy your baby or see the joy in motherhood.
- Shame over your depressive symptoms.
- Wishing you could escape your life.
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.
- Suicidal thoughts.
- Symptoms last longer than two weeks and typically require treatment to get better.
Tips for coping.
Take care of yourself. Caring for yourself is caring for your baby. Adequate rest is important, as is eating healthy foods and getting some form of regular exercise. The more you care for your mental and physical well-being, the better you’ll feel.
Make sleep a priority. Try protecting your sleep by overlapping it with your baby’s sleep as much as possible rather than using that time to do housework or check emails. You can also have your spouse or other helper watch the baby for an hour or two while you take a short nap.
Avoid binging on carb-laden snacks. What you eat has an impact on how you feel. Try to maintain a well-balanced diet. Turning to caffeine, sugar, and carb-laden snacks for energy or comfort can make matters worse by disrupting your sleep, causing your energy to crash during the day, and making mood swings more pronounced.
Make time for yourself. Don’t neglect yourself. Continue the personal care routines you engaged in before giving birth, and set aside time to do something for yourself, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day.
Relax. Take time to just focus on you and your baby, and on learning how to create a secure bond between you. Don’t worry about chores or nonessentials that can wait. It’s okay to skip housework, or to cancel something you had planned to do if you’re not up to it. Relax, and be kind to yourself instead of trying to juggle it all.
Accept help. Don’t feel as though you have to do everything yourself. Accept offers of help, and ask for assistance when you need it. There is no shame in asking for help with housework or meal prep. Let your spouse and loved ones help with the baby.
Stay connected to family and friends. Make time for friends and family, even if you’d rather be alone. Isolating yourself will only make your situation seem bleaker.
Spend time outdoors. Get outside at least once a day, even if all you do is take a short walk. Exercise, sunlight, and fresh air can do wonders in lifting your mood.
Talk about how you feel. Don’t keep your feelings and concerns to yourself. Share them with supportive friends, family members, or other new mothers who may be going through the same thing.
Join a support group. Joining a new mom support group can provide you with a supportive network of other mothers who understand what you are going through and who can provide encouragement, reassurance that you are not alone, and a safe, nonjudgmental environment in which to share your feelings and concerns.
Journal. Writing down your emotions and feelings can help you face and address what’s really bothering you, and let it all out. Later, when you’re feeling better, you can go back and read what you wrote and see how far you’ve come.
Don’t neglect your spouse. Don’t let the demands and needs of your new baby fracture your bond with your spouse. Instead of excluding him or taking your frustrations out on him, tackle your parenting challenges as a team. Make time for just the two of you to reconnect, even if it’s only spending ten or 15 undistracted minutes together where you can focus on each other.
Can fathers get postpartum blues or depression too?
The answer is yes. Studies have shown that new fathers can also experience postpartum blues or depression, but it often goes unnoticed, as men are more likely to conceal their feelings. Even though they don’t experience the same hormone changes that their wives do, they too are susceptible to the effects of sleep deprivation, new responsibilities, and changes in family dynamics. Often their symptoms include anxiety over feelings of increased pressure to provide for their growing family.
Afterword.
Postpartum blues usually disappear without the need for treatment, but you may need help with postpartum depression. The good news is that most cases are completely manageable and highly treatable. You are not to blame for your symptoms. They are not signs of a character flaw or weakness, and prompt treatment can help get you back on track.
If you have questions or would like to set up an appointment with one of the faith-based counselors in our online directory, please do not hesitate to give us a call.
References:
“Baby blues after pregnancy.” March of Dimes. Last reviewed May 2021. www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/postpartum/baby-blues-after-pregnancy#
Lisa Fields. “Is It Postpartum Depression or ‘Baby Blues’? Web MD. Reviewed March 14, 2021. webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/postpartum-depression-baby-blues.
Wendy Wisner. “Do I Have Postpartum Blues or Postpartum Depression?” Verywell Family. Updated December 13, 2022. verywellfamily.com/postpartum-blues-vs-postpartum-depression-4770580.
“Mother and Baby”, Courtesy of Oleksandr Pidvalnyi, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Mother and Baby”, Courtesy of Monica Turlui, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Mother and Baby”, Courtesy of RODNAE Productions, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Mother and Baby”, Courtesy of Anna Tarazevich, Pexels.com, CC0 License
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Sandra Stein: Author
Sandra Kovacs Stein was born in Calcutta, India, grew up in the Dominican Republic, and went to school in Canada, where she planned to settle after getting her Master’s degree in Speech Pathology and Audiology. Instead, she fell in love with an Ameri...
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